Time to dance in the rain again

'It was time to start again. Learn to live and love again, dance in the rain instead of trying to hide my tears in it. The light was finally shining through the fog that had surrounded for so long. Smiling to herself, she started to dance'

'And sometimes it just hits you and you realise that at that very moment, you have everything you have ever dreamed of'

'Sometimes you have to lose everything just so just you can see the true beauty of your dreams'

Why is nothing ever easy?

For once I was overwhelmingly happy last night. Me and Mark had decided that we should buy a house together once his trial period at work is finished and he is secure in his job. We talked about it all. The practicality of staying close to where I work and him travelling to work because of my being ill and we even decided we would eventually get a dog. We decided that we would speak to a mortgage advisor next week to find out our options and what we could afford. With all the practical stuff out of the way, we were just excited to be taking that next step in the next year.

I don't care where we live...

So long as it's homely and safe, it would be whatever we made it

But then what did I go and do? Check all possible information on the internet late last night and from what I can work out, it's near-on impossible for me to get a mortgage when I only have Incapacity Benefit as an income and if they did give me a mortgage, the interest would be sky high. And even on a 1 bedroom flat at £80,000 we would have to pay at least £500 a month and there is just no way I could afford that without having to declare myself bankrupt!

So to say I ended up on a downer is an understatement!!

It always gets to this when something good starts to happen. Everything is always just out of reach. This is the one thing I desperately want more than I have wanted anything in a while and yet it seems that there is no way we could even afford a poxy flat without barely being able to afford food.

I'm struggling to get past it this morning after a terrible night sleep. Again I feel like this god damn illness is getting in the way of everything

I do apologise for the moaning again haha!

Quote of the Day: It's never something huge that changes everything, but instead the tiniest of details, irrevocably tweaking the balance of the universe while you're busy focusing on the bigger picture

Portugal

I've just got back from Portugal and I can't get used to how cold it is back here, even though I've only been gone a week.
Me and Mark went to a small fishing village in the Algarve called Alvor. It was a lovely place and was perfect for a relaxing break. It was so good to be away from work and just spend time with Mark. I did have a minor breakdown about feeling rubbishy and not being able to just one week of feeling normal. But other than that, we had a brilliant time and it went all too quick.
These are a few photos we took =]

Main street in Alvor

Me on an evening out

Alvor harbour at sunset

Alvor beach

Main town

poor blind kitty in one of the villages

Me and Mark

Alvor harbour

Harbour

Busy busy busy

I've been terrible at making posts on here and for the last week or so I've just been so busy and I'm exhausted. I went to Cheltenham last week to stay with a friend for a few days. It was lovely to finally meet her and we had a day out in the Cotswolds and then shopping in Cheltenham. But two long train journeys and a bus journey in 3 days has taken it out of me so I spent the weekend just taking it easy.

And then back to work yesterday. Oh the joys! I swear the kids get more ill-behaved every year. I had a kid kicking someone else in the face today after he'd thrown him on the floor! And they are 5-6 year olds would you believe?! I doubt the behaviour will get any better.
Oh and a pointless ultrasound at the hospital which showed absolutely nothing.

So there's my busy week. I'm going to see Dangerous liasons at the West Yorkshire Playhouse tomorrow with Mark so I better go get some rest.

These are a few pictures from my trip to my friends....

Lower Slaughter in the Cotswolds

Bourton-on-the-water in the Cotswolds
Me and Hannah

Quote of the Day: 'True friendship is like sound health; the value of it is seldom known until it be lost' ~ Charles Colton

Carefree

I'm not feeling up to writing anything today but I'm feeling pretty carefree and have a few good days planned so these are some photos from weheartit.com that resemble my mood :D

Quote of the day: Live like there is no tomorrow

Scarecrows

I'm not up to making a decent post but here are some of the photographs I took at Kettlewell Scarecrow festival last week :)

Lewis Hamilton

I think he is supposed to be death

Fairy
Snoopy :)

Children going a-fishing

Woody

Shrek

Sunbathing

Witch and her cat

Mary, Mary, quite contrary

Quote of the day: Grow into your ideals so that life cannot rob you of them

What's with all the what if's?

I'm back finally. I would have been back days ago but I've been too busy racking my brain wondering what on earth to write about since my wonderful little world makes for pretty dull reading.

So I was listening to a song called 'What if I'm right?` by Sandi Thom (check it out on youtube) and it's basically about having the perfect partner and yet still wondering whether your doubts will be right and everything will go wrong. And it got me thinking, why do we always do that?

Just because something is perfect and we are happy, we immediately think of when the next downfall will be.

Like if you get a new job, there is always that thought that it'll be horrible and not work out...

Or deciding to have a picnic...but what if it rains?

Most people I know don't take themselves too seriously...
And yet they all still have these 'What if ?' questions for everything. They have the ability to laugh at themselves but don't have the ability to jump in to any situation feet first.

Maybe we should all just....

Dance in the rain without fear of a cold...

Ask him to marry you without fear of him saying no...

Have that dream holiday without counting every penny...

And just live on impulse for a while. Forget about the stress of life and let everything just be, even for just one day and see what a difference it makes to you.

While I was in Scotland, the sky was the clearest I've ever seen it and we just stood outside for a while in the cold just watching the stars. It was wonderful to just stand there and watch the beauty of it without thinking about anything at all. You should try it sometime :)

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Quote of the day: 'We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking up at the stars' ~ Oscar Wilde

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