All you need is to whitewash these old walls...

...and paint something new. It's an idealistic concept that you could just throw white paint at your entire life and rewrite everything.

I know, I know! I've been gone ages yet again. I'm just genuinely useless at remembering this thing exists. A few things have changed since my last post so here's a quick update...I'm no longer running to raise money for ayme as they blew that with supporting some stupid new research so I'm now running for ME Research UK and you can sponsor me here, www.justgiving.com/Lozzzy-and-Mark . Please, Thankyou =]

Another thing, I failed at the Project 365. Or rather I just couldn't be bothered with it and frankly my life is too dull to keep even myself entertained with pictures from it so there we have it, FAIL!

And one other thing...Mark has a job!!! I'm really relieved but Mark, ever the optimist, isn't happy until he has signed the contract and started the job in May.

Now, back to the whitewashed walls. Life is full of colour, full of memories and people that make us what we are but the colours are not always bright. Sometimes they are just different shades of grey. The memories are there but when the people are missing, it's like being stuck in a perpetual winter with no sign of spring with all the vibrancy of life.

I was made blatantly aware of such a perpetual winter when I had a view of the rainbow that is normal life. It was Mark's birthday and we went out for a meal and drinks with a couple of his friends. It was a really good evening and it was so good to have normality. Friendship made all the difference to making that a good night. When I got home a day later and was on my own, I felt the shades of grey seeping back in. I became painfully aware of how much I had blocked out the lack of friends in my life. It was never something that bothered me because I had got so used to being on my own after I got ill and not having friends to confide in but after that evening, it hit me and I realised how much I miss having friends around and just the normality of it all.


I'd been watching the birds flying around without me for so long that I'd forgotten what it is like to fly with them in the coloured skies instead of watching from the forest locking in that perpetual winter. It's probably an odd description of birds and colour but it explains things perfectly.

It would be nice to be able to throw white paint at those aspects of my life that are shaded grey and paint it every colour of the rainbow. Or have a few flowers grow in that forest of winter darkness.

Ramble, Ramble, Ramble!

(Pictures from WeHeartIt)

Quote of the Day: Sometimes you need to catch a glimpse of the rainbow to realise all you need is a dash of colour to banish the grey.

Hello New Year

And then came January.

It's always easy to let the new year go by without so much as a hello and the last few years I have done just that because I've not really had much drive to achieve anything other than to get well but since that's out of my control anyway, it doesn't count!

This year however, is very different. My immediate goal is to start getting to the gym once a week in order to run 5km to raise money for AYME in May with Mark. www.ayme.org.uk if you want to check out what the charity does and if you want to sponsor me and Mark, this is the place to do it ----> www.justgiving.com/Laura-and-Mark . So far we have £16 but we would love to make it to at least £100 by May.

My other main goal is to buy a house with Mark in March, or at least by next Christmas. It's something we've wanted to do for a while as you know if you follow me and read my wonderfully boring posts. Until recently it hasn't been possible but as the year came to an end, it does seem financially viable if we compromise on a couple of things.
This christmas was the first proper christmas with Mark at my parents house but we are keeping our fingers crossed to have our next christmas in our own home =]

And one last plug...I've started a Project 365 blog to document my year and to see how long it takes me to forget to take a photo every day ----> www.lozzzyproject.blogspot.com Follow me if you like =]

Quote of the day: Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending ~ Maria Robinson