Why is nothing ever easy?

For once I was overwhelmingly happy last night. Me and Mark had decided that we should buy a house together once his trial period at work is finished and he is secure in his job. We talked about it all. The practicality of staying close to where I work and him travelling to work because of my being ill and we even decided we would eventually get a dog. We decided that we would speak to a mortgage advisor next week to find out our options and what we could afford. With all the practical stuff out of the way, we were just excited to be taking that next step in the next year.

I don't care where we live...

So long as it's homely and safe, it would be whatever we made it

But then what did I go and do? Check all possible information on the internet late last night and from what I can work out, it's near-on impossible for me to get a mortgage when I only have Incapacity Benefit as an income and if they did give me a mortgage, the interest would be sky high. And even on a 1 bedroom flat at £80,000 we would have to pay at least £500 a month and there is just no way I could afford that without having to declare myself bankrupt!

So to say I ended up on a downer is an understatement!!

It always gets to this when something good starts to happen. Everything is always just out of reach. This is the one thing I desperately want more than I have wanted anything in a while and yet it seems that there is no way we could even afford a poxy flat without barely being able to afford food.

I'm struggling to get past it this morning after a terrible night sleep. Again I feel like this god damn illness is getting in the way of everything

I do apologise for the moaning again haha!

Quote of the Day: It's never something huge that changes everything, but instead the tiniest of details, irrevocably tweaking the balance of the universe while you're busy focusing on the bigger picture